wat bout pragnant strippers??
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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