He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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