i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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