I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
