Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
