We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
