Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
