Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize