We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
