So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
