In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
