so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
