Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
