Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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