That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
