Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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