she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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