In America we eat man semen.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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