turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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