something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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