There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
