I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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