how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
