so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
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