$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
