lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
