Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
