he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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