we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wear drunk well.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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