I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
