I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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