im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
