I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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