I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
