two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
