In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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