Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i now understand why vodka
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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