I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
