wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Damn victory sex feels great
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
