Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
