I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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