the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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