So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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