where does the pee come out of this thing
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
