Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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