Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
