p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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