Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
