my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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