Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
