he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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