Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
