You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
