"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
