I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize