the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
