You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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