dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
