We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
