if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
